In this series, I’ll be sharing my experience co-founding Strings, an Amsterdam-based sex-positive collective, and organising our first event last year.
When my co-founder and close friend and I first began discussing the idea of creating our own sex-positive spaces, we had almost no experience organising events. What we did have, however, was years spent immersed in Amsterdam’s nightlife and sex-positive scenes - experiences that shaped our sense of community, aesthetic vision, and understanding of what we ourselves were longing for.
Strings was inspired by our desire for a sex-positive party that felt warm and welcoming, especially for (queer) women and femmes. Of the parties that already existed in Amsterdam, we felt like none of them checked all of our boxes - we saw a lot of darkrooms and techno-forward lineups, often in large spaces that didn’t feel intimate. Among our friends and the wider community, we sensed a shared feeling that there was space for something softer and more accessible. And while we wanted our space to center FLINTA* people, we wanted everyone to feel welcome regardless of their gender identity or sexuality. Therefore one of our core principles was to focus on creating a safe(r) space for queer women, which would also feel safe for everyone else.
Strings is a party built around connection. Its name comes from the idea that there are always some strings attached, but in a playful and not-too-serious way. The name is also a reference to femme-coded G-strings which are sexy and flirty, as well as the resonance of strings in music that vibrate with rhythm, tension, and release. Strings can be tied, untied, woven together, or left loose, symbolising fluidity, freedom, and exploration between people, sounds, and experiences. It’s about being tied up, tied together, crossing paths for a moment, then drifting apart again. Like music itself, strings create movement and emotion through connection and vibration. Every party becomes its own thread - distinct but connected to a larger weave of events, people, and energy.
An important note: I differentiate between “sex-positive party” and “sex party” when talking about what I do. To me, “sex party” feels loaded with heavier expectations - while those spaces can be lots of fun, we wanted to ensure that our space was equally welcoming for people who might be intimidated by an environment where sex exists as the core purpose of the event, rather than part of something broader.
In line with this principle, it was important for us to build community and encourage open, honest conversations around sex and pleasure through our events - we never wanted to be “just” a sexy party. In order to set the tone, we decided to host a workshop at the start of the night, which would hopefully break the ice and build a sense of curiosity, which our guests would then bring into the play spaces.
One of our main considerations was balancing our target audience between beginners and more experienced attendees. This would determine everything from our workshop topic to dress code to door policy (in the end, the workshop topic was an introduction to impact play - an entry-level kink topic felt appropriate to make things spicy without being intimidating).
Ultimately, it came down to identifying all the necessary elements to create a truly safe space for exploration. As part of this process, we wanted our own voice to be open and vulnerable as well - it was important to be honest with our audience and make it clear that we are also a work in progress. In fact, I still don’t think we have the answers to all these questions. But if you want to organise an event like this, they seem like a good place to start.
In the rest of this series, I’ll be sharing more about how we organised our event, from finding a venue to creating our playroom guidelines, and sharing some things I learned throughout this process. You can find Strings on Instagram here - we’re currently planning our next event which will happen over the summer, so stay tuned.