Once upon a time — in a galaxy not so far from the dirty carpeted hellscape of your average 2000s-era sex shop — there existed a shop run entirely by men, buzzing under migraine-inducing fluorescent lights, where a confused, slightly intimidated woman tried to buy her first strap-on. That woman was me. And that shop? Let’s just say it was not the vibe.
Fast forward to today: I’m sitting in the Echobox studio across from Madeleine, a feminist icon disguised as a sex shop buyer, and the beating heart behind Amsterdam’s most inclusive, sex-positive, and lovingly curated erotic emporium — Mail & Female.
If you think a sex shop is all dingy back rooms and latex nightmares, you haven’t met Madeleine.
Mail & Female isn’t just a clever name — it’s a manifesto. Founded by feminist trailblazer Hanni Jagtman, this cozy corner shop has spent over 35 years proving that pleasure doesn’t have to be performative, pornified, or pink plastic nonsense.
Madeleine joined the team 16 years ago “just for the experience,” and never left. She fell in love — with the mission, with the toys, and maybe a little bit with humanity too. She started as a part-time sales assistant. Now? She buys every product on the shelves, teaches pleasure workshops, and scares the crap out of misogynistic wholesalers just by walking into trade fairs and demanding silicone over sketchy jelly materials.
In a world full of “street girl” branded sex toys (yes, that’s a real product — and no, she did not stock it), Madeleine fights the good fight. No toxic materials. No misogynistic packaging. No fake inclusivity. Just quality, safety, and serious pleasure.
She remembers when people thought Mail & Female was too feminist, too picky, too principled. But oh, how the tide has turned. Now every shop wants to look “women-friendly” — but Madeleine’s team has gone beyond that. They’re human-friendly. That means anyone — from Orthodox Jews to hijabi aunties to pansexual polycules to someone’s grandfather — can walk through the door and feel seen.
(Yes, all of those happened on the same day. It was legendary.)
You haven’t lived until you’ve been taught how to finger by Madeleine. Seriously.
Mail & Female’s workshops are infamous in the best way: equal parts technique, permission, and “holy shit, I didn’t know that was even an option.” Whether it’s hand jobs, fingering, or learning to ditch the performance pressure, participants leave feeling confident, curious, and just the right amount of flushed.
And her top recommendation? A glass dildo. Heavy, smooth, temperature-play friendly, and visually delightful — like if a sculpture and a g-spot had a love child.
Madeleine has a philosophy: sex is like cooking. The more you experiment, the better you get. And just like you wouldn’t expect to become a five-star chef using only pre-packaged ramen, your sex life could use a little exploration too.
She’s here to remind us that sex can be messy, weird, hilarious, and profound. That you’re allowed to make mistakes. That pleasure is a language you can learn. And that you should absolutely throw the sheets in the wash and move on.
While mainstream chains are trying to H&M-ify the sex shop model with flashy stores and “starter vibrators,” Madeleine believes there’s still magic in the niche. Mail & Female doesn’t need gimmicks. It thrives because it listens — to its community, to its customers, and to the shifting currents of what people actually want from their pleasure.
Because here’s the truth: not everyone needs a vibrator shaped like a bunny. Sometimes what you need is a space where you can ask anything — even if you’re buying porn for your grandfather (true story), sneaking in on your lunch break, or simply too curious to stay away.
So if you’re in Amsterdam and craving something real — something ethical, informed, and a little bit sexy — go visit Mail & Female. It’s more than a shop. It’s a sanctuary. A school. A movement.
And if you’re lucky, Madeleine might just teach you how to give the best hand job of your life.